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Face-to-face and heart-to-heart:
Where real learning takes place

by Amanda Moore (amandamoore@live.ca)
MA student through Eastern University is working in central Ghana for an environmental education project in conjunction with Vancouver Island University, KNUST- FFRT, and Sunyani Polytechnic.

“I used to have a huge family, with so many relatives that I was close to. As a result of the genocide, there were only two of us left. My father was a pastor and when he died I picked up where he left and have continued his work. Through the local church I support the formation of savings groups that help people raise funds to create a better future for them and their family. The amazing thing about these groups is that many consist of both widows whose husbands were killed in the genocide, and women whose husbands are in prison for the murders. These women have come together, forgiven each other, and are supporting each other in any way they can. This is the most beautiful example of grace and reconciliation I have ever seen.”
~ Woman from Rwanda, genocide survivor

I found myself among a group of leaders attending a workshop on Dialogue Education. On the first day we learned about different domains of learning, considering cognitive, psychomotor, and affective. While they all have value I was particularly interested in learning more about facilitating learning to “the affective domain”, as I have often found it the most challenging to do. What I did not expect was to come face-to-face with the profound implications of affective learning through interactions with another participant. Let me explain further.

One exercise in the workshop was to share with a partner about a time in your adult life when you changed your behavior, and explain how you were able to do that. I shared with my partner about how I used to be quite stubborn and had a hard time giving up control of something. Basically, I was selfish and I always wanted things to go the way I thought they should go. My transformation to giving up control has been gradual over the last 5 years, and more dramatic as I moved from Canada to Ghana and experienced how it is next to impossible to control anything about your life in the environment I find myself. There are just so many external factors that affect me here. You have to believe that while things may not happen as you plan or expect them to, that is still okay. While I know my journey of transformation has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today, when it came time for one of the other participants to share about the transformational journey she has been on, my example seemed so trivial and almost pathetic.

This beautiful lady shared her overcoming extreme resentment and grief as a result of living through the genocide in her country of Rwanda. She told us that before the genocide she had a huge family. Tragically, only two of her family members also lived through the horrendous experience. Now when I hear an African talking about having a huge family, that most likely means several hundreds of people from her family alone were killed in this attempt of ethnic cleansing.

Later at lunch, she shared with me a story of how after the genocide the school system was changed to English instead of French. As she herself struggles for the English words to explain more, my mind swirls in wonder of all the other changes that genocide brought to the people of her small country, Rwanda. For her the genocide brought incredible grief and resentment as she grappled with the questions of why they had to kill her family. How could God allow that to happen to her? Beyond that, I imagine she wondered why God spared her. Why couldn’t she have died with them so that she did not have to deal with such pain and despair? While her journey of reconciliation will likely never be accounted with full accuracy due to the intense emotions that surround the entire situation, that day I was given a small glimpse of her process towards forgiveness and grace, and the way she is working with other people to also overcome the terrible things of the past.

It is one thing to hear the facts and figures about the genocide, but to come face-to-face with someone who has lived through such pain and suffering, and developed the resolve to forgive is extremely powerful. It touches the heart in a way that has the profound ability to transform ones thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. While I have not had to grapple with forgiveness on the same magnitude as this strong lady, she taught me that forgiveness is a choice that one has to make. It is through this learning that I must change my attitude towards people and situations that have caused me pain, in order to bring healing and reconciliation. I know this level of understanding would not have come if I had simply been told that forgiveness and reconciliation were important. I needed to hear and example “with my heart”. That day I learned the value of affective teaching and learning.

Learning to Listen, Learning to Teach course in Accra, Ghana: October 20 -23, 2009.
The photo is courtesy of The Chalmers Center for Economic Development.

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